Hazure Skill ‘Mapping’ wo Te ni Shita Ore wa, Saikyou Party to Tomo ni Dungeon ni Idomu Chapter 41

The Similarities Between the Two Opposites Person

Translator: Masakibluei

Erin: “There are people who cannot move forward when they are frustrated. Not everyone is the same as you. Look, I’m one of them. While I am blessed with Magical power skill, I never work hard at anything. I live with ease, always choosing the easy way, and always running away from problems. I am that kind of hopeless person.”

It seems that I really don’t know anything about Erin Fortlood at all. The Erin Fortlood that I knew had unyielding spirit, strong competitive streak, and always overflowed with only self-confidence. On the contrary, the girl in front of me is weak, fragile and empty. The image of a genius magician that should be respected has vanished, leaving only a crying little girl behind.

Erin: “I was bullied in the past…This happened during my time at school for magicians. “

Just a moment ago, she was talking about a different topic. Therefore, I cannot hide the confusion I feel from her sudden confession.  I then decide to listen to the rest of her story silently.

Erin: “What was the reason, huh? Perhaps it was due to my personality. Although I declare it by myself, my personality is unpleasant, right. Just say whatever you think in your mind, it’s natural to dislike this kind of conversation. “

I cannot continue to look at Erin who is mocking at herself. I like Erin who was always full with self-confidence. I respected her. However, these thoughts are started to be defiled one by one.

Erin: “At the beginning, it was started with some malicious gossips, then it escalated to direct insults, and when I realized it, it had turn into harassment. I was excluded from everyone in the class, and being ignored as nonexistent. “

Perhaps, the image of Erin Fortlood that I envisioned from the beginning was absolutely false. I thought she was a strong person by judging from the way she speaks. My current point of view and feelings for her are probably selfish. 

Erin: “Of course, since it was about me, I reported it to my teacher. It was something that cannot be helped without complaining to the teacher after all. I had reported the bullying many times. Then because it was her job as a teacher, each time, she would give a warning to the class. However, the warning could not stop the bullying. It was due to my personality which was the cause of the bullying, had not changed at all. “

I then realize while hearing her story. Actually, Erin is a weak person. If she gets hurt, she will get hurt badly.

Erin: “Because I was the cause of the bullying, it was beyond saving. My personality could not be changed just in a day like that, right? Even I dislike the personality that I was born with. “

During her confession, Erin's outside appearance has already been peeled off and the girl who is hurting inside remains clearly visible. I’m not really sure what should I say to her or how should I approach her. However, she starts to speak again before I interrupt her, “But you see...”

Erin: “Although every day was tough, not everything about it was tough. Even with a person like me, I had one friend in that class. Wasn’t that amazing? That girl was a very calm child and quite passive. Due to her personality, that person was not able to get close with the others in the class. We started to get along because both of us were pitiful persons who had no friends. Despite the initial reason, we became really close. “

For some reason, she looks really sad to talk about her supposedly happy memories. Her face is full of grief.

Erin: “The time I spent talking with that child was really fun. Those days made me forgot about the painful things. We talked a lot about magic. We competed with the school grades. Win or lose, it was really fun. We shared the joy about every little thing. I think that time was the happiest moment in my whole life.”

'It’s enough, Erin. You don’t have to continue anymore,' I thought to myself. From her expression, I can sense that the continuing of that story is full of sadness. 

Erin: “The days full of bullying and small little happiness continued until I turned 15 years old. Then I went through the skill presentation ceremony and everything came into a stop.”

Still, she continues on with her story. She pours out everything that is hidden in her heart. Carefully, she tears up her invisible wounds one by one.

Erin: “Even among the magicians, after I got the highest-grade skill, my surroundings changed drastically. Due to my promising future as a magician, my classmates became really friendly towards me. The teachers in our school also boasted me as the most outstanding student. Even though a few days before I was only an outcast. What do you think about how I felt when I received the flatteries from those shameless people?”

I’m confused at the sudden question she threw at me. In my confusion, I reply, “Did you feel cold-hearted?”

But she shakes her head.

Erin: “No, Note. It was the opposite. I felt welcome. During the break, people talked to me, when there were group works, people would invite me and after school, the girls would play with me. Up until then, I had only one friend. Hence I stopped my relationship with that girl.”

I thought, ignoring her only friend was her regret. On the opposite of my expectation, she still continues with her story.

Erin: “A group is a strange thing. For some reason, unless there is a common enemy, a group cannot be created. Our class group was created because I was existed as their common enemy. Since I was no longer an outcast, you probably can guess what was happening next, right? That girl who was always alone, became the new target of bullying. She was the only one who was closed with me originally and her existence became a nuisance. “

Erin’s tears have completely withered, and her tear stains again his cheeks have turned white. But she starts to weep with her voice as she starts to tell her biggest regret from her past.

Erin: “After that, I pretended that I did not see her being bullied. No, actually I also took some part in the bullying. I could not refuse our class directions to bully her. Because I was scared. If I refused, I was afraid that they would change their target back to me. I thought at that time, I did not want to go back to those hellish days.”

Erin hangs her head down while weeping miserably.

Erin: “Even until now, I can still remember my last irreversible words to her. ‘I was not happy at all being with you. Because you have no other friend, I had no other choice but keeping you company. That’s why, don’t misunderstand and stop being overly close to me.’ Can you guess what was her reply? She said, ‘I really had a good time with Erin. It must be hard on you. I’m sorry and thank you. ‘”

“Why!?” Erin screams with the top of her lungs.

Erin: “Why did she say thank you?! Why did she have to apologize to me?! In fact, I was the one who should say sorry and thank you! Thus, I decided to apologize to her at the next day. It was justified because I said something really bad. She might not be able to forgive me. However, I still tried to apologize……”

Erin pulls up herself to continue to speak. 

Erin: “It was already too late. She stopped coming to school and soon after that she dropped out from the school. Since her house was far away, she used to live in the dorm. Hence, I could not see her anymore. I couldn’t apologize even if I wanted to. “

I cannot criticize Erin for her ruthlessness. Because I did the same thing. I treated my childhood friend in the same way as hers. We betrayed and hurt our loved one and lives carefreely up until now.

Erin: “Even though she loved magic so much, because of me, she turned away from magic. I was the one who should go away! Everyone would be happy if I did not exist!”

It was a horrible sight to see her declared such a harsh thing about herself. What she did might be so horrible that everyone who judges her will think that she does not deserve forgiveness. Nevertheless, I personally want to forgive her. I’m not sure if I think this way because she is my companion, or because our past resembles each other, or because she confessed her wrongdoing too late, or maybe because she has been suffering more than she deserves due to her guilty conscience. Maybe all those reasons are true, but those are more than enough to forgive her, right?

Erin: “From then on, I started to hate everything and I quitted school as well. Then I joined Arrivers. In regards to conquering the dungeon, I do not have any special goals.  However, since I stole her future path in magic, I gained a little bit sense of responsibility to continue and be successful in magic in her stead. Thus, my declaration at our self-introduction was a mere lip service. I absolutely never think about becoming the best magician in the world. After all, I run away from the school, which was the best environment to study and to become the best magician, and I also did not practice my magic. It is ridiculous, right.  “

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Translator note:

Erin and Note actually are quite similar. Both have some regrets in the past. But Note has been working hard to move on, while Erin is still stuck. Meanwhile, my biggest surprise from this chapter is the fact that Erin apparently never practices her skill at all. She is one of the key members of the group and they relied on her a couple of times. So I did not see that coming. 

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