Hazure Skill ‘Mapping’ wo Te ni Shita Ore wa, Saikyou Party to Tomo ni Dungeon ni Idomu Chapter 42

Her Truth and Confession

Translator: Masakibluei

I’m shock from hearing the truth from Erin. At that time, I found an objective to move forward from my meaningless life because of the Arrivers’ self-introduction. But that precious memory is actually mixed with lies. As a result, I feel a little bit sad because I was betrayed. But her confession does not stop here.

Erin: “There are other things too. Especially, this is about you, Note….”

Note: “Me?”

Erin: “Yes. Actually, in the past, I wanted you to get out of our group…”

Note: “In the past……Is this about the time when you were mad at me and told me that I was lazy……?”

Erin: “Not that one. From the beginning. From the moment you joined us……no, more precisely, even before you joined.”

When I peer into Erin’s eyes pupil, the contents of her eyes are void. She already exhausted all of her emotions and what is left inside of her is only emptiness.

Erin: “I hate a person who likes to sell out about himself like my previous classmates. Because of having a useless skill, you abased yourself. You also have the tendency to be jealous of others. Therefore I did not want to be influenced by a miserable person like you. I thought, since everyone in the group are top class adventurers, it would work out somehow for me. However, you barged in and joined the group with your dirty feet. So, I decided to force you out. “

Note: “Forcing me out…”

Erin: “You got some ideas about it, right? I told you in the kitchen when we met for the first time. I was against the idea of you joining the party. During the false charge of kidnapping with Neme too. Don’t you think I was too harsh on you? During that incident, I finally found an excuse to force you out. Even if it was against your will, I tried to force you out. “

My memories with Erin at that incident start to change its color a little bit. At that time, had she thought like this as well? Was that how she truly felt? I come to realize that I really do not know and understand Erin at all. I only had been looking at her superficial appearance.

Erin: “I kept my cold attitude to you for this reason. But I was wrong. Note was different from my classmates. Furthermore, you are far stronger and more decent than me who tried to put you into turmoil. “

Note: “I am a decent and strong person?”

I want to open my mouth to rebuke but Erin stops me and continue speaking.

Erin: “Yes. When I was running away and continue to spend time lazily, Note, you faced your own weaknesses and worked really hard to change it. Since I joined Arrivers, I never practiced my spell even once, but you were learning and practicing arts all the time. Then you have improved, but I haven’t changed at all. “

Note: “I am not a person who deserves such compliments. If I fight with Erin, Erin is much stronger……”

Erin: “I am a weak person. Even if I win with my skill, there is no meaning if I lose my heart. For a human being, talent is necessary, but effort is even more important. Even if you have a rare talent, without putting any effort it will become pointless. “

Her confession is nearly finished. She already spilled out all of her feelings and she also spoke about everything that she wanted to say.

Erin: “You do have talent. A talent for putting all of your efforts. And also, a talent to keep moving ahead. I’m sure you will achieve a great accomplishment in the future. I guarantee. That’s why, leave me here and find a way to get out from this floor by yourself. Certainly, you will be fine by yourself. It might be easier to get out of this place without me. Although I don’t want to die alone in this dark place, I will bear with it. This kind of death is worthy for a person like me who keeps on hurting others. “

Note: “Why did you say that! Let’s go together……”

Erin: “I can’t do it anymore. I already lost all of my heart. Just leave me here.”

By looking at her pleading eyes, I finally get to know her real nature. At last. At last, I’m able to understand her. Her real feelings and her real perception about me. I start to speak to rebuke her opinion.

Note: “It’s not true. I’m just lucky. I was able to changed because I met Arrivers. That’s all. I was the one who by chance joined the Arrivers, unlike you Erin. “

Erin is just like my old self. She is just like me before I met the Arrivers. I was filled with guilt of hurting Miya.

Note: “I used to be exactly like you. I was a weak person. I refused to face my own weaknesses. But I met the Arrivers and it changed me. That was the only difference. “

Erin: “In my case, I did not change at all after I joined the Arrivers! I could not change myself! Because I’m a weak person! You are different! You are able to change yourself because of your own effort! Meanwhile, it’s my own fault that I cannot change myself!”

Note: “No! You are not bad, Erin! People can change for better or worse after meeting someone else. But it depends on who you met and how they influence you. “

I become emotional as I gaze into Erin’s eyes intensely.

Note: “For me, the Arrivers is my salvation, but for Erin, the Arrivers is not your salvation. It’s just a slightly misplaced button. If the situation and the timing are slightly different, the result might be the opposite. A future where Erin has changed while I have not changed at all might exist. “

I got a trash skill and betrayed my childhood friend.

While Erin got an amazing skill, she betrayed her only friend.

Then I was able to slightly change my miserable self after I joined the Arrivers.

While Erin had not changed at all since she joined the Arrivers.

We are really helplessly similar. Although we are similar, we proceed in the opposite direction. It’s such a pity.

Right now, she still feels frustrated. She has not been able to release her anguish. I understand because we are similar. The frustration was gnawing at my own heart. I denied myself and nearly erased my own self. It was striking and unbearable pain.

Inside that desperation, Erin who has no salvation and wants to die is really pitiful. I won’t let Erin die while having a grudge on her own life. Especially not in this place. I really wish for her well being because I can understand her despair.

Note: “That’s why Erin surely will be able to find salvation like me if you choose to live on. I really hope that you do.”

In a world where a small wish like this is hard to realize, salvation might be a little too much to hope for.  A world where a girl has to deny herself and die alone has to be a mistaken one. I won’t acknowledge it even little bit.

Erin: “You keep on saying about staying alive……But I can’t get out from this floor. I have no confidence to do so…”

Note: “It’s okay, even if you don’t have any confidence. I’ll take Erin out from this dungeon. No matter what kind of method or sacrifice that I need to do, I will help you to return. Which is why I want you to believe in me. You can do it, right? After all, you told me that I am a strong person. You acknowledged me. “

Erin who is influenced by my smile starts to raise the corner of her lips. This is her first real smile since she came into this level.

Erin: “You foolish……”

Note: “It’s fine being foolish. Let’s go home together. To the Purith town where everyone is waiting for us.”

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Translator note:

A closure for their relationship. There are a couple of chapters left before the end of book 2. 

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